5 Reasons Jose Cuervo is the Perfect Valentine

HAPPY FRIDAY BEFORE VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY! How appropriate is it that the day before is Friday the 13th? Now, after yesterday, if you expected my Valentine to be anyone other than my number one man Jose Cuervo, I think you need to revisit everything about me.

He's always there for you:: Jose has been there through breakups and mean girls and not getting the dream job. Never makes you think that you're anything but a pretty pretty princess who should TOTALLY dance on that table. Just do it. He's gonna be there cheering you on. 
dance dance dance
He ALWAYS thinks you should have more queso, or another slice of pizza. Just do you girlfriend:: You will never hear Jose say "oh, are you sure you want another slice of pizza?" nope. he's gonna help you call + order another one. He even knows that you secretly have that Visa card number memorized.
pizza is a theme. obviously
He never makes you play games:: "don't double text" "ladies don't text first" "if you ignore him he'll like you more" guys. that's exhausting. Jose is always there. Literally,  just hanging out on the bar cart (that I SWEAR I'm going to blog about. I promise.) waiting for you to need a margarita. You don't have to worry about whether or not he thinks you're being needy or clingy or whatever else you're supposed to be.
sorry emily post
ALLEGEDLY he's even super good for you:: I love it. Every time there's an article about the health benefits of tequila, it's shared with me. Then this happened. I'm a little sad that Elite Daily beat me to that one. Anyways, I bet Jose is the reason I'm skinny. Not the high metabolism or the fact that I think you should walk everywhere.  **side note. it seems every Elite Daily article is about tequila. Why haven't they hired me yet? I could write all the tequila articles. **
hot mess
The only thing better than one margarita is two margaritas:: Seriously. The more, the merrier. You don't have to get jealous over Jose hanging out with another girl because all girls who drink tequila are awesome. End of argument.
drink drank drunk
So, those are the five reasons Jose Cuervo is the best Valentine. Because I can buy myself flowers + chocolates + pizza. Jose + I will be hanging out this weekend, bring some orange juice + come hang out! What are you doing for the lovey dovey made up holiday?
Venus Trapped in Mars

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