Five Things Fantasy Football Taught Me

I'm not sure if we've covered whether or not I'm a good loser, I'm not. I definitely need Sarah's "what I said when I was losing" t-shirt. Actually, while you're over there, I kind of want it all. Should have put that on my Christmas list too.... I definitely get really sassy. I don't handle it well. So having easily the worst Fantasy team in our "No Punt Intended" league has been super tough for me, but I've learned some life lessons.

yep, still a super sore loser. // I bet you thought I was going to say that losing a lot taught me to not be a sour sport. Well it didn't. I didn't grow up getting trophies for showing up, you got trophies for winning. (side note. I don't think everyone should get trophies. makes you lazy. winning is actually important.) I don't like to lose especially if I know I'm trying really hard. GUYS. 

that whole "my life is an example of murphy's law" applies here too // I swear "if it can go wrong, it will go wrong" should be Kasey's law. I usually think it's hilarious. Here's how it works, if I start Matt Stafford, Big Ben has a helluva game. If I bench Steven Jackson for Mark Ingram, then Steven Jackson runs forty million yards and scores all of the touchdowns. Also, you're more likely to get injured if you play for me. 

I should have stuck to my strategy of picking colors + cute players// granted, I was a little of a space cadet during the draft , I did do my research, and I picked players I thought would do well. I usually draft/pick teams for pools/etc based on like. Team colors. Mascots. Whether or not I think that player is a babe. I also usually do really well. That's what I get for trying to research! 

even yahoo sports gets sassy // if you didn't see it in my "November Through The Lens" collage, Yahoo sent me a push notification that I had won the moral victory by losing by THIRTY POINTS (thanks Buffalo.) 

that one win last week was even better than if I was undefeated (no it wasn't.) // nope. absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. losing all year doesn't make that one victory even better. nope. it makes me stomp my foot and shout "HEY, WHY DID IT TAKE Y'ALL SO LONG TO GET IT TOGETHER?" Obviously, I should probably only coach tiny humans if I decide to coach. You know, the ones where it's cute when they run to third instead of first. 

So, that's what being 1-12 through this season has taught me. Next year, I'm drafting based on how cute the players are. #sorrynotsorry. Linking up for Fan Friday AND Oh, Hey Friday! Have you learned anything about your life by losing a lot? 

The One With John Elway...

I'll be honest, until about lunch time, I thought yesterday was Wednesday and I panicked that I hadn't done my humpday confessions post yet. Then I finished my pumpkin spice latte and realized that it was, in fact, only Tuesday. Now, I promised this week would be football themed, so these confessions are dumb football things I have done!

For the longest time [and sometimes still today] I confused John Elway with John Denver. Not what their professions are, just how much sense would it make for John Denver to have been the Broncos great? I can see John Elway being responsible for Take Me Home, Country Roads and Thank God I'm a Country Boy.

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Sometimes I say "he hit the field goal" because I forget that there are other words to be the opposite of miss. I stand by it though, if "hit" and "miss" are your two options, and you put the ball through the uprights, you hit it, right?

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I've actually had relationships end over football [and baseball] because the guy was embarrassed to be around me when watching the games. Apparently it's not ladylike to yell at the TV in the bar or trash talk the opposing fan next to you -- who knew?

 

I plan my fall around when Georgia plays. If you want to do something on a gameday, it better involve watching the game or you better believe I will find a way to be watching it while I'm at whatever your event is.

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Monday, I forgot that I had to draft two players so I accidentally autodrafted not one, but two kickers..

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Also, I get chills and maybe a little teary eyed every time I watch a UGA hype video. I'm ready to tee it up between the hedges, y'all. So watch this video + then head on over to see who else is confessing today!

My Fantasy Football Strategy

I'm sure I've mentioned it a time or two, but I'm a really competitive person. I don't like to lose. I don't understand the concept of playing games where you can't win. The whole "just for fun" thing? 100% lost on this girl. So obviously I draft my fantasy teams in the same competitive fashion. Now, I am in no way qualified to dole out official "fantasy" football advice [but really, what makes someone qualified to do that?] but I write a blog so I'm going to do it anyways. So there.

Step one, remember that the draft is at 9 pm the next day and remember that The League is on Netflix, watch the League on Netflix instead of doing draft research -- because that should help right?

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Step two, halfway through work on Monday realize that you still haven't done anything and the draft is that night, in like a few hours. Text some guy friends who are really serious about fantasy football and ask "if I could only draft one player for fantasy, who should it be + why?" have one rattle off an answer and the other one ask you a question making you realize that you know absolutely nothing about how the draft is going to go. Start to panic, how are you going to win if you don't know what the hell you're doing?

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Next [I'm not sure if this is step three or four, math is hard y'all.], pour a glass of wine, make a list, don't forget to post a picture to Instagram so the world knows you're drafting the best fantasy football team ever. Decide to write a blog about the draft process and spend so much time finding perfect gifs [gif's?] from The League + almost miss your first pick in the draft..

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OH don't forget to accidentally draft a kicker because you forgot that you had two picks back to back + went to fill up your wine glass after drafting Matty Stafford... Don't forget to make that mistake one more time, just to prove you definitely didn't deserve the first pick of the draft.

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THEN YOU END UP WITH TWO KICKERS. So guys, you should absolutely choose my draft strategy because I'm going to win with two kickers... How many kickers does your fantasy team have?

It's That Charles Schwab Wine!

This linkup almost makes me more excited about Wednesday than Friday. Calm down, I said almost. Thursday, you're still the redheaded stepchild [I can say that because I am a semi-redheaded stepchild.] Anyways, after a weekend in Athens, you know I have some fantastic confessions -- so here we go!

First of all, Saturday night we were talking about the Trader Joe's Two Buck Chuck wine and why it was so cheap. My friend started in on the story but kept saying it was Trader Joe who's wife took the wine profits, so I go "it's not Trader Joe, it's Charles Schwab!" to which they all go "you mean the investment banker?" It's Charles SHAW wine and I'm really cute.

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I have maybe listened to the new T. Swift single a million times. I may even have immediately downloaded it. I may even have learned all of the words Monday night before I even got home. I don't even consider my love for her jams a "guilty pleasure" she's adorable, I dig her jams, if you don't like it you can move on or you know, give me twenty minutes and I'll be on to going on about Weezer's new jam. I feel zero parts sorry for it. I also feel zero parts sorry for sharing it again right here, right meow.

I'm like, super concerned about coming up with a clever name for my fantasy football team because Sarah set the bar pretty high already by calling the league "no punt intended" and her team being "Turn Down for Watt" I mean come on that's some big stuff to follow up. 

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I was passive aggressively tweeted about yesterday, so I'm chalking that up to hateful comments on the Internet, which I'm pretty sure means I've officially made it, right? If using pinterest is wrong, I don't wanna be right y'all. To quote my girl T-Swift haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate baby

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I'm not ashamed about any of these revelations y'all. Including the picture that has me in it, that I'm about to post next, because I'd like to close with the fact that we jumped in the fountain on North Campus long after midnight + I even instagrammed after midnight. [which I hashtagged then I thought about what people use the #twitterafterdark for, and immediately decided not to see what everyone else was instagramming after midnight...] I am sorry that it's grainy, iPhones + low lights, you know? 

What do you have to confess this week? I sure hope it's not that you haven't stopped by to see who else is confessing today!

Weekly Wishes!

Update update update! Today doesn't feel like such a bummer of a Monday, it's probably because I think I slept about 98% of yesterday. Naps really matter y'all. SO I'm linking up my weekly wishes, updates on last weeks wishes, and updates on my monthly goals!!

update on last week's wishes ::

be productive at work – success! Except that I was so productive last week I have substantially less to keep me occupied this week…

clean the apartment – sort of success – we kept the common area pretty clean because people came over, my closet + bathroom still need some love though.

start saving for my camera – ACCIDENTAL SUCCESS. Mother nature intervened + kept us from really partying hard this weekend – so I saved all of the money I would have spent at the bar!  

blog every day this week – ayooo another success – I even hit 10,000 page views!!!!!!!!!

august goals ::

pick three new blogs to sponsor for September  --  I have picked who I want to sponsor, now I just need to buy the space + create a new button! Plus, the meet-up last week was so great! So many new friends!  

put my agenda to work – obviously a work in progress – I did add everything already planned to it though [including when I’m holding the blog baton in September!!!!]

run/walk/exercise three days a week – two days is close right?

Atlanta Blogger Babes courtesy of Melissa!

this week’s wishes ::

streamline the blog layout + simplify it -- Jessica wrote in her blogger tips about creating a logo + streamlining your design as a blogger tip + my design is pretty ADD, like me, so it needs a little focus..
laundry laundry laundry -- part of the reason my closet needs so much love is because I have all of my laundry on the floor [sorted into loads, obviously.]
clean + wash my car -- poor Jude is covered in so many dead bugs you can't even tell it's a white car. whoooops.

What are your goals for this week? For inspiration, I will leave you with this video of the Manning brothers rapping about Fantasy Football, thanks Korked Bats...