My Fantasy Football Strategy

I'm sure I've mentioned it a time or two, but I'm a really competitive person. I don't like to lose. I don't understand the concept of playing games where you can't win. The whole "just for fun" thing? 100% lost on this girl. So obviously I draft my fantasy teams in the same competitive fashion. Now, I am in no way qualified to dole out official "fantasy" football advice [but really, what makes someone qualified to do that?] but I write a blog so I'm going to do it anyways. So there.

Step one, remember that the draft is at 9 pm the next day and remember that The League is on Netflix, watch the League on Netflix instead of doing draft research -- because that should help right?

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Step two, halfway through work on Monday realize that you still haven't done anything and the draft is that night, in like a few hours. Text some guy friends who are really serious about fantasy football and ask "if I could only draft one player for fantasy, who should it be + why?" have one rattle off an answer and the other one ask you a question making you realize that you know absolutely nothing about how the draft is going to go. Start to panic, how are you going to win if you don't know what the hell you're doing?

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Next [I'm not sure if this is step three or four, math is hard y'all.], pour a glass of wine, make a list, don't forget to post a picture to Instagram so the world knows you're drafting the best fantasy football team ever. Decide to write a blog about the draft process and spend so much time finding perfect gifs [gif's?] from The League + almost miss your first pick in the draft..

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OH don't forget to accidentally draft a kicker because you forgot that you had two picks back to back + went to fill up your wine glass after drafting Matty Stafford... Don't forget to make that mistake one more time, just to prove you definitely didn't deserve the first pick of the draft.

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THEN YOU END UP WITH TWO KICKERS. So guys, you should absolutely choose my draft strategy because I'm going to win with two kickers... How many kickers does your fantasy team have?

It's That Charles Schwab Wine!

This linkup almost makes me more excited about Wednesday than Friday. Calm down, I said almost. Thursday, you're still the redheaded stepchild [I can say that because I am a semi-redheaded stepchild.] Anyways, after a weekend in Athens, you know I have some fantastic confessions -- so here we go!

First of all, Saturday night we were talking about the Trader Joe's Two Buck Chuck wine and why it was so cheap. My friend started in on the story but kept saying it was Trader Joe who's wife took the wine profits, so I go "it's not Trader Joe, it's Charles Schwab!" to which they all go "you mean the investment banker?" It's Charles SHAW wine and I'm really cute.

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I have maybe listened to the new T. Swift single a million times. I may even have immediately downloaded it. I may even have learned all of the words Monday night before I even got home. I don't even consider my love for her jams a "guilty pleasure" she's adorable, I dig her jams, if you don't like it you can move on or you know, give me twenty minutes and I'll be on to going on about Weezer's new jam. I feel zero parts sorry for it. I also feel zero parts sorry for sharing it again right here, right meow.

I'm like, super concerned about coming up with a clever name for my fantasy football team because Sarah set the bar pretty high already by calling the league "no punt intended" and her team being "Turn Down for Watt" I mean come on that's some big stuff to follow up. 

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I was passive aggressively tweeted about yesterday, so I'm chalking that up to hateful comments on the Internet, which I'm pretty sure means I've officially made it, right? If using pinterest is wrong, I don't wanna be right y'all. To quote my girl T-Swift haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate baby

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I'm not ashamed about any of these revelations y'all. Including the picture that has me in it, that I'm about to post next, because I'd like to close with the fact that we jumped in the fountain on North Campus long after midnight + I even instagrammed after midnight. [which I hashtagged then I thought about what people use the #twitterafterdark for, and immediately decided not to see what everyone else was instagramming after midnight...] I am sorry that it's grainy, iPhones + low lights, you know? 

What do you have to confess this week? I sure hope it's not that you haven't stopped by to see who else is confessing today!