Why I Couldn't Be a Bachelor Contestant...

So while watching The Bachelor, we go back + forth on whether or not we could be contestants on this show. Tonight, while watching home towns, I realize that is why I couldn't be on this show. The home town visit. 

So as I'm watching Jojo's mom drink the champagne straight out of the bottle and I thought oh dear lord, my parents would probably have us all in the hot tub taking fireball shots. Could you imagine? it would be such a shit show. It would be hilarious, but it would also be a disaster. So obviously now I want to go to the hometown level of The Bachelor so things can get out of hand..... #iguessicouldfindahusband #itwouldgothesameway #iveneverintroducedthemtoaboy #thatsanotherconfession

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Another reason I couldn't be on The Bachelor is my ability to get other people to drink more tequila than they can handle. Can you see that? Night one, Kasey gets all of the other houseguests doing tequila shots, it becomes apparent that I'm the only one who can handle the tequila, INSTANT BACHELOR VILLAIN. #onsecondthought #maybeIshouldbeacontestant #Iwouldhavemyownparodyaccount #ITWOULDBEAWESOME

TEQUILA

I admit that I've started digging into what it would take to become a contestant on The Bachelor. Do I have to have a like, real audition? Can my job be "lifestyle blogger"? I know that's not as glamorous as "twin" but whatever. Oh man, how popular would my blog be when people found out it existed? Would I be instantly disqualified when they found this post? #Ihavealotofquestions #pickmeforbachelor21 #forealforeal

I VOLUNTEER

I have a passive aggressive confession here. The other day I tweeted about those people who follow you on instagram, then unfollow you the minute you follow them back. I have an even bigger issue with a select few I have noticed who follow me and unfollow me multiple times. To where I recognize you're instagram handle. What bugs me the most, as petty as this will sound, is that these people have more followers than me. #notcoolrobertfrost #oninstagramstraightflexin #pleasestop

please stop

I'm really super pumped the Braves signed Frenchy to a Minor League deal, I'm sure it's great for ticket sales, but also it means this will surely make a comeback. #onjeffears #thankmelater

That's all I have for today. What kind of Bachelor contestant would you be? Did you cry laughing at Frenchy? I can't deal. Like, that's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. God bless it.